


Lost Boy | Tronnor

by xdistorted_cliffordx



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Connor Franta - Freeform, Death, Depressing, Depression, Gay, M/M, Sad, Suicide, Tronnor, YouTube, otp, suicidal, troye sivan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 21:11:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7480182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xdistorted_cliffordx/pseuds/xdistorted_cliffordx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[[This one shot is also on my Tumblr @ive-been-shot-in-the-feels</p>
<p>Disclaimer: Troye is 17, Connor is 19. Yes, there is 18+ clubs. THERE IS NO SMUT BECAUSE NO. JUST NO. THEY ARE INNOCENT FLOWERS.</p>
<p>This is also based off of the song Lost Boy by Ruth B.</p>
<p>*****NOTE: Triggering events having to do with depression and suicide are mentioned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Boy | Tronnor

Troye wandered around a side street in San Francisco, looking out at San Francisco Bay. It was nearing some time after midnight, but the traffic crossing the bridge made it look like it was about seven in the evening. As he looked at the bridge, Troye imagined and made up scenarios in his head about where people were going to, what kind of life they led, and things like that. It was something that he did when he would be around more people and observing, but tonight, he just wanted to be alone.

It wasn’t like he wasn’t already. Troye had been on his own for seven months, or ever since his parents kicked him out. He was seventeen, but he wasn’t nearly prepared to live on his own. That’s why he was living in the streets, wandering from town to town in California every so often. Most people would’ve told him to live with a relative or crash at a friend’s until he was financially stable. But the thing was that his relatives lived back in Perth, Australia and he didn’t have a job or enough money to buy a plane ticket, nor would they even want him there.

And he didn’t have any friends. Everyone at the private school Troye had been in considered him to be unusual and a loser. He used to have one friend when he had first moved, but after his secret was leaked from her, he was viewed as a washed up mongrel.

Troye leaned against the fence, looking at the Golden Gate bridge, tears welling up in his eyes. If only he could be normal. If only he could be like he was supposed to be, like every other normal teenage boy in the world was, and like girls. He wouldn’t be in this mess if he weren’t gay. He wouldn’t have been bullied at school. Being gay was a sin and now he was paying the consequences. He knew that he would never find a boy that would love him. They would just use him for sex or they would steal from him. Troye was alone, lost, and broken in this scary world.

He remembered the day he had told his then-friend, Lila. They had been at the mall, sitting in the food court. Lila had a goal of setting Troye up with a girl, so she had been trying to point out potential suitors. When he got sick of every other sentence being “oh, she looks like a nine. Go talk to her, Troye”, he finally told her that he was actually gay. Nothing gave Troye the suspicion that she would tell anyone, she had even promised him that she wouldn’t. And then after three days, the football players began to bully and push him around and everyone was terrible and rude to him. It was like he was trapped in a building full of Regina Georges.

After he had come home with a black eye and a limp, he had decided that it was time to stop lying to his parents about what was going on. His lame excuse of being a klutz was starting to get them suspicious, so he came clean to them. Obviously, they hadn’t been approving of Troye’s desire for men instead of women. They turned from loving and caring parents to cold and hateful parents, kicking him out on the streets and cutting him off from the family completely by midnight that night.

He attempted to call his aunt Rae in Perth to see if she would book him a flight and let him stay with her, but by the time that he had called her, she had already found out from his mum and wasn’t allowed to ever speak to any of the family ever again. That hurt Troye to the core. His own family that he had once valued and loved more than anything had rejected him and removed him.

The entire thing had caused Troye to spiral into a deep depression. He had struggled with depression the previous year and a half when he was coming to realization with himself that he was actually gay. Now, he was stuck in a rut, hating himself every minute of everyday. When he would settle down in a corner or on a bench to sleep, he would wish that he wouldn’t wake up. He was a waste. Troye Sivan was a waste of breath, space, life. He wanted so badly for it to end.

_________

Connor took a drink from his glass of beer and then let out a loud and obnoxious laugh to make it look like he actually found whatever his friend Jason said was hilarious. The truth was, Connor was having the worst time. He didn’t like to go out clubbing with his friends because they always got wasted beyond repair and always ended up finding girls and making out with them. It wasn’t fun at all. Connor didn’t even like to drink that often anyway. But it was the only time he got to hangout with all of his friends together, so he was damned if he didn’t.

His other friend Andy came back, inhaling the girl that was attached to his side. It made Connor feel uncomfortable because he was openly gay. His friends knew that too, so they avoided the women’s strip clubs. Not that that made any difference. He always saw more of their one-night stands than he would’ve cared to.

Jason started to cock off to Andy and his 24-hour squeeze, so Connor decided that it was a good time to excuse himself from the table. He told them that he was going to go get some fresh air and get out of the obnoxious noise, but they didn’t hear a word they said over the bass and their screaming laughs.

Connor went towards the bathrooms, deciding that it would be easiest to go out the back door instead of the front because of the long line. He grabbed the door stop that was next to the bathroom, sticking it so he wouldn’t get locked out. Once he was out, he closed his eyes briefly and let the peacefulness of the quiet and the chill breeze consume him.

He was a sucker for the outdoors, always finding something beautiful about nature or just the scenery. Like tonight, the stars were shining brightly above the city and the air was quiet. The lights from the Golden Gate and the cars were reflecting off the water and a person was about to jump off of the side of the cliff into the water.

Connor’s eyes widened when he realized what he saw and he started sprinting over to where the silhouette was preparing to leap off of the rock that jutted out from the earth.

“Hey, stop! Don’t jump!” Connor yelled out breathlessly as he neared the rock.

The person on the rock - Connor now identifying it as a young man - turned around to look at him. His face was shadowed, but from what Connor could see, the seemingly-suicidal young man didn’t look to be much younger than him.

“Please, don’t jump. It’s not worth ending your life over,” Connor said, breathing heavily. “There’s also a chance you won’t die.”

“You don’t even know me. If you did, you would know that it is worth ending my life over,” the boy said, sounding like he had been or was crying.

“I know I don’t know you, but I know that you’re strong and can make it through this,” Connor pleaded. “Please, don’t jump. What about your family? They’re going to miss you. If you think that nobody loves you -”

“They don’t! Everyone in my family literally fucking hates me! I’m a fucking joke and I don’t need some stranger telling me that I’m worth it when it’s so obvious that I’m not!” he screamed angrily at Connor.

Connor didn’t know what to say, but he knew that he needed to do whatever he could to talk this boy out of jumping and killing himself, especially being as young as Connor thought he would. Plus, he didn’t want to witness something that morbid.

“Why do they hate you?” Connor asked, his voice more calm and collected. “Other than the fact that you’re yelling at me, I don’t see why they wou-”

“Because I’m gay!” he screamed, his tone sounding pained.

Connor could hear and see the silhouette of the boy as he broke down in tears. Seeing him that way made Connor’s heart ache. With hesitance, Connor slowly walked towards the boy, wrapping his arms around the thin boy in a comforting hug. The boy cuddled himself into Connor’s chest, in which Connor responded with a tighter grip as a tear worked its way out of his eyes.

“Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that you’re a joke or that you’re pathetic. That’s not what being gay is,” Connor said softly. “Being gay means that you like boys. If your family doesn’t approve, then whatever. You don’t negative people like that putting you down. I know that it seems bad right now, but it will get better.”

“I live on the streets. I have no friends, no anything. Nobody will ever love me. Looking the way I do and being as fucked up as I am, I’m lucky to court a goat. I didn’t even graduate school. I have to clean my clothes in rivers or if I get lucky and find a few coins, then I use the laundromat. It’s not going to get better,” he said, his shaky voice becoming angry. “You have no idea what it’s like. You’re just saying things that people are supposed to say. You don’t know. You don’t fucking get it.”

Connor was silent for a second, not letting go of the boy despite how much he wanted him to. “I do know. I am gay.”

The kid looked at Connor with his big doe eyes. Tears glistened as the streamed down the foreign boy’s cheeks. Connor just looked back at him. The boy suddenly grabbed Connor in a tight hug, whispering apologies and how much of a screw up he was. After a few minutes passed, Connor grabbed the boy’s shoulders and pushed him off of him, looking back into his blue eyes.

“You’re not a screw up,” the Minnesota native told him. “What’s your name?”

“Troye Sivan,” he told him, thinking that it was an odd time to ask names. “Yours?”

“Connor Franta,” he told him. Connor looked over the edge at the body of water that was beneath them and then back to Troye. “If you’re going to jump, you’re going to take me with you.”

“What? Why? I can’t do that,” Troye protested.

“Because if you die, it might as well be someone who loves you.”

“We just met,” Troye told him.

“If this were under different circumstances, I have a feeling we would be together,” Connor told him. “Nobody deserves to die alone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

The teary-eyed boys grabbed each other’s hands and looked over the edge, seeing that it was a clear shot to the water. Both gulped, looked at each other, and backed away from the edge. They took a deep breath and then ran across the cliff, jumping off, never breaking their hold on each other as they fell freely.

_______________


End file.
